Impulses

He doesn’t want her to respond, if he’s being honest. But if he’s being more honest, he does want her to want to respond. He wants her to feel the impulse to respond, but he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of her response. If she doesn’t feel the impulse to respond, maybe that could say something bad about him, and it doesn’t say anything about her. If she feels the impulse and she does respond, then that could say something good about him, and maybe something bad about her. But if she feels the impulse to respond, but resists herself and does not respond, then that could say something good about her, and something good about him too.

[Posted on Instagram.]

More

He sometimes wishes he had done more. But he realizes too, that if he had done more, he would have regretted doing more. He also realizes that, even if he had done more, there would still be more that he wouldn’t have done, and so he still would have, sometimes, wished he had done more.
She too wishes at times that he had done more. Most of the time, she is thankful, like him, that he hadn't done more, because there’s less for her to regret since he hadn't done more. But she sometimes wishes he had done more, for the same reasons he sometimes wishes he had done more, but other times, she wishes he had done more for different reasons; she thinks to herself, If he had done more, she would have had more reasons to blame him, she’d have felt more justified in hating him, she wouldn’t have wondered if anything was her fault; she wouldn't be wishing he had done more, and she wouldn’t think herself mad for still wishing he had done more.

[Edited on 26-04-2023. Posted on Instagram.]

Knowing Again and Again

I know what I know now, and I know I didn’t always know what I know now, and I know I don’t know some of what I once did know, and I will one day not know some of what I do know now, and maybe someday I will come to know what I once did know, maybe what I do know now but won't know then, like the meaning of a word, and not knowing that I did once know this word, I will think it is my first time knowing it, and maybe I will again forget it at some point, but maybe if I come to know it after that, I will at least remember this time that I did once know what it meant, even if I won’t remember that I knew it more than once before.

[Edited on 27-04-2023. Posted on Instagram.]