Although he hurt my ego, and my instinct was to blame him for hurting me, I held myself. Since I knew it was my ego that was hurt, I told myself I should not react in defense of my ego. This made me feel good since I got to tell myself, "Look how noble you are, allowing him to say what hurts you because you don't want to defend your ego." Being aware of this self-deception though, disarmed my defense, and I was left again with my offended ego. I now became very conscious of my self-deception and my ego; I was also aware that these were subtle incidents in one's soul that others may not notice in themselves. This last bit was also a defense mechanism in which I told myself not how noble I was, but how everyone else must be just as bad, (although I was also praising myself for noticing).
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